Last week, I wrote ComposeCreate® teachers an email that appears to have wildly resonated. My inbox was flooded (I love that, not complaining) with responses about how it connected and how helpful and meaningful it was. So I wanted to put it in a place here on the blog where you could re-read it if you want and those who didn’t see it last week can see it now:
I know you are probably preparing for a holiday recital, group lesson, festivals that happen in January, or just busy with the holiday season in general!
So I wanted to just mention a few things today that might be helpful in this busy season.
I’m the kind of person that feels like once I start something, I have to keep doing it. So if I’ve always had a holiday recital, I have to do it this year. If I’ve always used compliment cards, I have to do it this year. If I’ve always had a paper program, I have to have one this year. If I’ve always provided cookies and a reception, I have to do it this year.
But my husband has been so good over the years to “call me out” on some of these things and help me see that I don’t really have to do any of these things! It’s my choice. If I didn’t do them, yes, I might have to answer some questions about why, but it’s almost always my choice whether I do these things because I own my own business!
So he often helps me see that I need to give myself permission not to do something.
Because the problem is that we are often our own worst enemy in terms of expectations. We have high expectations of ourselves and we think others do too. But there’s nothing wrong with not doing something for whatever reason! You are the boss. You are the business owner. You make the decisions.
So this season, I just want to encourage you, if you need it, to give yourself permission to not do something this year. Maybe you decide not to provide the cookies yourself but instead let parents bring them. Maybe you decide not to do a reception. Maybe you decide to make the recital in January or not have one at all. Maybe you decide not to do a printed program. Maybe you decide to get a program template (see below). Maybe you decide to only do one fun, super easy game for your holiday party.
Whatever you sense you need to do or whatever you are dreading doing this year, it’s okay to make the choice not to do it.
We are not what we do. So do what you need to do.
And maybe, just maybe, not doing something this year will help you have more time, space, and energy to be the beautiful person you are.
I hope that’s helpful!
Wendy, thanks for that! That is beautiful 😍
Paulette
How true. My PEO sisters were having a house tour (I made cookies) ; I was to play the organ for church service at the Lutheran church. (I’m Methodist) helping them. Then the Community Band had a concert ( I play clarinet) all on Sunday!! My husband was flown to a hospital to have Bypass surgery on Monday. All those other things didn’t happen for me me. God is still in control.
Sometimes getting permission is exactly what we need! Thanks, Wendy. Your new (editable) template made the program a no-brainer, and so entertaining to look at. The games made the group classes a breeze. And who says I have to lay out a gala reception and hire a caterer? We had our recital with NO food, no reception, and families could simply relax, enjoy the music, and hang around after to tell as many students as possible how much they appreciated their playing/singing. I got back home without having all the clean-up-and-carry-out. I didn’t even have it videoed this time. We went totally old-school, and people will carry the warmth in their hearts.
Dear Wendy,
Thank you for giving me permission NOT to do something. I did have my Holiday Repertoire Class on Saturday morning. Our program was just a simple one page. The parents came through with the snacks and we had a blast doing We Wish You a Merry Christmas and the March from the Nutcracker Rhythm Cups. I kept everything simple since I lost my husband in April. It worked well.
Where I am thanking you for the permission NOT to do something came last night. I went to sign Christmas cards to friends and family. I had a cheerful letter all printed to go inside. I realized that I just couldn’t write personal little notes inside each and every one. So Thank You for taking a big burden from me. Now I will have time to enjoy baking!
Thank you for all you do. Wishing you and your family a peaceful Holiday Season.
This is just the message I needed today. My 88yo dad has been in the hospital for several days with a broken hip after a fall. There have been several complications that have delayed surgery so we’re here at the hospital every day working through what needs to be done. I have three students playing in an association recital this Saturday, am supposed to judge a keyboard exam in which I have students participating on Sunday, and am hosting a musicale for students and families next Tuesday. I’ve had to cancel almost all my lessons over the past week when I should be preparing for all these events. But health issues kind of put things in perspective and all the parents as well as my adult students have been very understanding. Wendy, thanks for the reminder that sometimes you just have to take a breath and prioritize what needs to be done. Everything will work itself out.
Thanks for the reminder Wendy! It’s been a pretty lean year, so I may have to make some of the choices that you mentioned. I have had my holiday recital in January for the last two or three years now and it has really de-stressed the holiday season and increased recital attendance because there are fewer conflicting events! Plus it allows students to prepare over the break if they are so-inclined.
Wishing all of you fellow teachers a peaceful and blessed holiday season, and to echo a previous comment, God IS still in control!
This message is especially relevant at Christmas – but we also have to remember, it is true ANY DAY OF THE YEAR.
We *always* have the power to give ourselves permission to say “no.”
“No” is not a bad word. “No” is a healthy boundary. Sometimes we forget that. So no matter when you’re reading this – whether during the Christmas season, or during Spring Recital season, or on some random Tuesday, or at 3AM when you can’t sleep…remember: You have permission to say “no” to yourself.
Your blog was timely in my life. 3 days before our Christmas Recital, I tested positive for Covid and was very sick! For the first time in 40 + years of holding Christmas Recitals, I had to cancel. But guess what?? It wasn’t the end of the world!! I am still recovering a week later and all my students and families have been very understanding. Since it came at the end of the semester I don’t have angst about having to hurry up and get back into the thick of things so soon. I’m already thinking of a Christmas recital in January or February – What a revolutionary thought☺
Mmm, this resonates…
I sometimes just don’t do things because I somehow believe if I do things once, I have to keep doing them. Maybe I need to give myself permission to just do things once, and then decide wether I want to do them again… Thanks for planting the seed…
I should have read this last week… It resonates more than well with me, so I will keep this in my mind for the next time! Thank you so much for sharing this, you always bring something helpful and practical.