What My Obstetrician Taught Me About Repeating Myself About Piano Policies

Repeating Myself About Piano Policies – What My OB Taught Me

What to do when you say, "I'm so tired of repeating myself about piano policies!" | composecreate.com“I’m so tired of repeating myself about piano policies. Why can’t my families just get my make up policy (or tuition structure or late fee)?”

This is a common complaint among piano teachers and I completely empathize. I get tired of repeating myself too!

But the other day, I was in an exam room waiting for my Ob/Gyn (No, I’m not pregnant!) and a light went on for me. Though the rooms are well insulated, I could hear a patient in the next room asking my doctor questions. Her voice was a little higher and louder than most people’s, so I could clearly understand her words.

“I keep having these contractions that come every 3-4 minutes, but then they go away. Am I getting close?”

As she asked these words, I thought of the three children I had given birth to courtesy of this wonderful doctor’s care. I know that I asked this question. But not only did I ask this question, I know I asked it with every one of my pregnancies.

Professionals repeat themselves. A lot.

Can you imagine how many times an obstetrician gets asked the same questions! And I’m sure even by the same patients who have multiple babies.

I listened and heard my obstetrician’s wonderful, low and calming voice, reassuring this patient and explaining Braxton-Hicks contractions.

She was patient and reassuring.

She wasn’t annoyed.

She realized that explaining these things was her job as a professional but most importantly…

She realized that this pregnancy was a new experience for this patient. And even if this patient had asked the same question the week before, the facts did not change. The patient needed reassurance that everything was going to be all right and that this was normal.

Can you imagine if your obstetrician said, “I’m so tired of repeating myself about explaining contractions!”? You’d probably find a different doctor, right?

How can I not hate repeating myself about piano policies?

You probably already see how this applies to piano teachers, but I’ll just summarize.

When we are faced with multiple questions about our policies, we can respond more gracefully and confidently when we do these things:

  • Remember that this policy is a new experience for this parent.
  • Even when it’s not a new experience, remember that people need to hear things over and over again before they remember (around 7 times is what many say).
  • Give parents the reassurance they need that everything will work out. They need to be reassured that their money is working for them even if they miss a lesson!
  • Make your case backed by the facts (policy) that do not change. The policy is what it is and reassuring them that their investment is working for them is important.
  • [Of course, you are free to make exceptions and I’ve talked at length about that. But you must be firm with most of your policies so that you can have room to make exceptions for those who need it most.]
  • Be the professional. You are not only a piano teacher, but a business owner, a CEO, and much more.
  • Remember that there are just too many things on parents’ minds for us to expect that they will remember all our policies.
  • Even if you know that the parent knows the policy they are questioning, reinforce your policy by being firm. They’ll get the idea eventually.

I know repeating yourself is hard. But if you get to the place where you are tired of repeating yourself about piano policies, seek to understand from where the parent is coming (they forgot, they were confused, they got busy, etc.). Many times, it can actually become a lovely way to connect with them. It doesn’t happen that way all the time because there are always parents that are unreasonable. But, a lot of parents just forget, misunderstand, or are legitimately confused.

I know you already try to be empathetic, but I hope these thoughts will help it come more easily!

It can’t hurt to try.

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19 thoughts on “What My Obstetrician Taught Me About Repeating Myself About Piano Policies”

  1. This definitely came at the right time this week. Normally it is not a huge problem for me but this week I have had to speak to 3 sets of parents about policies which they should know as its in their policy.
    I had to remind myself to be patient so I really enjoyed reading this!

  2. Thank you for this Well said. I have taught for 28 years and have a wonderful group of pants, many of whom have been with me for several years. I do grow weary of explaining over and over so this was a great example and something I needed to hear again

  3. Thanks for this! I’ve had a rough couple of weeks with a few challenging parents. It was refreshing to be reminded that I’m a professional. Now I feel empowered to act like one even when I’m frustrated. Thanks!

  4. So glad to hear this. I grow weary of the vents from piano forums where teachers grumble about parents questioning their policies. Patience and kindness go a long way to providing a better customer experience. I hate when I am employing someone for a service and they get huffy or upset with me. This is definitely a great reminder and the best approach for a good teacher parent relationship.

  5. Thanks, Wendy! You are so right, the parents need the reassurance through repetition and consistency. This reminder is useful to me as a parent with my own kids, as well.

    Question: I guess I need reassurance too, because I still need help with this, even though I have read all your articles on the topic. In this current one, you wrote, “Give parents the reassurance they need that everything will work out. They need to be reassured that their money is working for them even if they miss a lesson!”

    So, my question is, how DO I reassure them? I don’t always do a literal 1:1 exchange of time for their missed lesson by working on something specifically for that student only. So, how do I reassure them that that their money was still working for them even when they missed a lesson?

    Thank you for your help. You are training our thinking!

  6. Thanks for this!! It saved me in a lesson yesterday. If I hadn’t just read your advice, I’m afraid my patience would have failed me!

  7. Wendy, this is an excellent reminder. That was a quick segue you made, from the OB’s calm reassurance and repetition to what we need to do as independent music instructors. Awesome job! 🙂

  8. Patience is important yes. It’s good to be reminded of this. I rarely have to go over my policies multiple times with my clients. I think these are the reasons why:

    1. I send an email prior to the first lesson that states “I’m attaching the studio policies. Please read them and let me know if you have any questions.”

    2. Then at the end of the first lesson, I verbally go over the most important policies: make ups, cancellations, payment.

    3. I paste the most important policies to the bottom of every invoice! Done! Never an issue anymore.

  9. If only 7 times would do the trick! I have taught one or another student in the same family for 16 years. Each and every year, I am confronted with the mother’s confusion about the tenth tuition payment being due in June. It’s not that the mother doesn’t see value as the older two daughters have earned degrees in music. After 16 years, my graciousness is being tested!

  10. I get what you are saying, Ellen! I had one family that, though they were nice and said they “got it” after I explained it every year, still asked for an exception about something in my policy every summer. So, this article is about just that! If they are still with you, then they obviously still want you even though they don’t understand or agree with a policy. I guess that is a good thing!

    I’m sorry your patience is being tried. But I know you are not alone!

  11. This was excellent information. I have one student, my granddaughter and I don’t charge for lessons. But when my daughter took ballet classes, the policy was never explained to me. I made up my own and thought I was doing it correctly! When I realized I was not in compliance, I felt absolutely horrible!
    I guess my thought is that from the parent’s perspective, I did not understand the policy. I am pretty sure you teachers are more business minded than this sweet woman was 35 years ago, but it’s just a thought that may help. Bless you all. Music is a gift you share with many.

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